the big bang theory tv show dialogue :)

The Hofstadter Isotope 

Sheldon: Did you just shut the TV off in the middle of the classic Deep Space Nine-Star Trek: The Original Series-Trouble With Tribbles crossover episode?

Leonard: Apparently so.

Sheldon: Are you ill?

Leonard: No.

Sheldon: All right, then is it fair to say that you're experiencing some sort of emotional turmoil over the events involving Penny earlier this evening?

Leonard: When did pick up on that?

Sheldon: A moment ago when you just shut the TV off in the middle of the classic Deep Space Nine-Star Trek: The Original Series-Trouble With Tribbles crossover episode.

...

Sheldon: Would you like some advice?

Leonard: Sure, why not?

Sheldon: Then this is the perfect time to launch a blog with an interactive comments section.

Leonard: Gee, thanks a lot!

Sheldon: Would you rather I offer my personal insight?

Leonard: No, I don't need any insights, I just wanna know why Penny is more interested in Stuart than me. We're practically the same guy!

Sheldon: Oh, I disagree. Stuart is taller, artistic, self-employed, and most significantly, he gets 45% off comic books.

Leonard: You're right, I really should be asking strangers on the internet!

Sheldon: My original point.

---

Sheldon: I've spent the last 3 hours in an online debate in the DC Comics Batman chat room and I need your help.

Stuart: Oh yeah, those guys can be very stubborn, what's the topic?

Sheldon: I am asserting: in the event that Batman's death proves permanent, the original Robin, Dick Grayson, is the logical successor to the Batcowl.

Stuart: Ooh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.

Sheldon: "More wrong"? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.

Stuart: Of course it is; it's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

The Vegas Renormalization 

Sheldon: You know… I’m given to understand that there’s an entire city in Nevada… designed specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems… and replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

Raj: Is it me…or is that Sheldon’s way of saying “Vegas Baby”?

---

Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?

The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: [after Leonard refuses to check a message from Stuart, assuming it's about Penny] You have to check your messages, Leonard! The leaving of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy!

Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.

Sheldon: [pause] At times.

---

Stuart: Sheldon, here is the new edition of Hellboy. It's mind blowing.

Sheldon: Excuse me. Spoiler alert!

Stuart: What?

Sheldon: You told me "it's mind blowing". So my mind goes into it "pre-blown". Once your mind is "pre-blown", it cannot be "re-blown".

Stuart: [bewildered] I'm sorry.

Sheldon: Said the Grinch to Christmas.